The Ramblings of a Food Addict

I love sweets. Specifically chocolate sweets, in the form of cake, cookies and candy bars.

If nuts are involved, that’s an added bonus. So of course, some of my favorites were snicker

bars, and all chocolate covered nuts. Let’s not underestimate the power of the Oreo Cookie (my

recent vegan favorite). I’ve had many experiences with those delicious cream filled treats.

So, what’s the big deal? Everyone has a sweet tooth, right? I think everyone has a hard

time attaching the word “addiction” to someone’s love of sweet treats, especially if that person

isn’t obese. Well, I’ll put it this way…if you have a “habit” that you want to quit and need to

quit because it is causing you harm, but no matter how hard you try, you just can’t stop;

addiction could be a thing.

I must say, addiction is still a hard word for me to associate with my “sweets habit”. This

is because roughly 95% of my education about addictions focused on drugs and alcohol. How

could I have an addiction? The studies I’ve read and clients I’ve seen have “real” addictions.

However, the truth is that I could relate to everything they were saying. The difference is that they could choose to remove themselves from bars or environments where drugs were

accessible. Not only are people not able to remove themselves from food, but food and

desserts are a major part of our socialization and it’s very hard for people to exclude one from

this symbol of extended love and kindness. Someone addicted to alcohol won’t have “real”

friends saying, “just have one little sip”. However, “just have a small piece” are words we all

hear often after refusing cake at a birthday party. What people don’t realize is that that “small

piece” just like a “sip” of alcohol could throw someone back into an uncontrollable spiral.

So again, what’s the big deal? Life is short, just enjoy the sweets. If it were only that

simple. I have come to this place because I was becoming very ill. For over 20 years, I have had

a number of autoimmune conditions and sugar has become “enemy of Ayesha’s state”. Not just

sugar, but the gluten in those cookies and cakes as well. They caused major fatigue and joint

pain. You’d think this would be enough to ensure that I wouldn’t eat a half pack of Oreos or an

entire bag of sharable M&M’s, or what used to be my favorite; a huge slice of red velvet

cheesecake in one setting, but nope; that’s where the addiction comes in. I have done this

several times to the point of sickness or nausea, and only when lonely depressed, stressed, etc.,

for the sake of medicating those emotional pains. I would be out of commission the entire next

day from fatigue, but I would still do it all over again.

One of my friends would say “If it makes you feel bad, just stop.” If it were only that

easy… I know he, like many others, just doesn’t understand that food addiction is a real thing. I

just want to bring awareness. There are so many who suffer in silence. I know love is expressed

through food, but in the case of a food addict, so is tremendous pain. If someone says, “I really

shouldn’t have that”, believe them, support them, and validate their struggle with love.